The Pilgrimage Road

June 5, 2004

This has been a very full day. I had taken something to help sleep last night--the wind had been so strong I was concerned. I'd never let myself drift off with the wind like that. Consequently, I had a great sleep I don't have to get up and pee when I take something, so my sleep is quite restful. I then packed everything away to go~~~I am figuring out better ways to pack my tent. I decided to give my 1st aid kit to Strathcona lodge. Never fear., I'm keeping just enough for myself….moleskin, anti biotic ointment, moleskin, anti viral ointment, moleskin….you get the picture. Then when I put the pack sack in Gaye's car (my good Samaritan)I gave her the "chair" for driving me to Gold River. I never did use it and quite frankly I bought it because my Chiropractor suggested it.

I was going to hang out at the lodge, because I could not get warm enough tenting, and it kept tempting to rain. As lunch was served I filled my plate and went to sit in a booth in the "Canoe Club" that has a spectacular view of the lake. A woman came in and somehow it came up she was from Beamsville, Ontario. I know where Beamsville is. I know it that there is a retirement home for ministers. I mentioned this and the fact I was a former mainline minister and the woman exclaimed, "You are??? My husband is a retired Presbyterian minister and my daughter is a Salvation Army Officer." As her husband came in she said, "Frank, this woman is a former minister too". Whereupon Frank slid into my booth and we had an interesting collegial "chat". He was raised in the Reform Tradition~~Dutch Reform~~ and did his ministry training in Michigan then settled in Abbotsford. Then he asked what I was doing know.

"I feel called to go on a peace pilgrimage to the Ocean to Listen."

"There is only one Call", he said (still not clear what that means in his theology or understanding other than the Call to Christ~consciousness). But then he asked the BIG question.



"To whose voice are you listening? Many voices want to be heard. To whose voice are you listening to?"

Great Question. Got me asking it of myself. After he left I did some reflecting.

One of my friends considers Jesus her "main man" and yet also gets guidance from Djwal Khul.

Another friend, staunch catholic, in the Irish Liberated way, is listening to the teachings the Azurites as well as Jesus.

Who do I or who can I identify that I listen to??

My voice, Jesus, St. Francis, The Planet, Spirit, Kwan Yin. Gnesha….
let alone friends and author mentors such as Morton Kelsey, Jean Vanier, Hildegard De Bingen, St. Teresa of Liseaux, Caroline Myss,….



Who am I calling on to speak to me?? Who do I want to hear?

Frank made a comment about the Incarnated Christ….

Yes…I hold a Truth that Christ is an Incarnation of the God Spirit. It is Jesus the Christ that I hold as my chief mentor, guide, way to follow.

I experience Christ incarnated in the planet, people, the Ocean. For me, it is listening to living Parables which Incarnate the Christ Truth. I had said that to Frank, that the Prophets of Hebrew tradition frequently looked at what was happening in nature and "heard a word of the Lord".

Holy One,
Source of Life,
Creator of the Universe,
I am cold with longing and uncertainty.
I need your abundance and guidance as I learn how to receive that abundance.

I need warmth, shelter, community for a few days to re group….To take another look at my load and disperse what is now frivolous.

I need to hear how & what path I need to take to the Ocean.

I need to experience clearly whose voice I am hearing and responding to.

I am needing reassurance of the Universal as well as Personal worth of this journey.

Sharing my forming understandings & thoughts is vulnerable. To think I preached every Sunday from a similar place is quite awesome.

I need a place to cry, to pray, to sing!! Perhaps there is a church Sanctuary I could stay in like Samuel did as a lad in the tabernacle.

All I can do is ask.

Is there a convent/a Holy room for reflection somewhere?

As I look at the little map I have of Gold River, I notice the manse/rectory for the Anglican and United Church. I get this "niggly" that I need to Ask for the Ministry of Hospitality, and I pray that if that is just me, that that Idea will evaporate. I find it really difficult to do put myself out at risk like that. And yet the faith stories I have read are filled with serendipitous timing for those traveling in the Spirit.

I am not earning an income right now, God, and it is a thoughtform around being/proving I am of Economic worth that is haunting me right now….financial abuse is what I experienced in my last marriage. Because I do not have an Economic worth in this culture I am dealing with a thoughtform that says I do not then deserve abundance if I do not contribute to the economy per se.

Whose voice? I think Jesus is guiding me.

Prepare ye the way….praying for Peace.

The last supper goodbye and labyrinth with friends.

I am going away, and where I am going you cannot come. Therefore, love one another.
I'm remembering how much I wanted to have my friends meet each other before I left. I couldn't be there for them, so I was giving them an opportunity to look after each other on my behalf.

Another comforter will come.

Behold, I make all things new.

Temptations on a high place.

The paradox of the spirit communicating Christ's Presence AND Absence. Christ in us, and Christ's coming again. And then the Longing, which itself, in Hebraic tradition is a sign of a Deep Spiritual journey….

The Sense of the spirit saying to me the last 24 hours, "I go to prepare a place for you"

The fire ~~~being refined and the Baptism of Fire

Presence of Wind and Fire last night are Hebraic words for God's Presence.

The Song promise I hear in my heart: I've got a home in glory land that outshines the sun….

The experience on Friday of Fire as comforting presence.

~~in the Wilderness God led the Israelites with the pillar of fire at night.

~~feeling driven to the wilderness~~ some choice but a sense I must do so to be true to myself, to be in tune.

~~~a sense of the Wilderness preparing me for the "ministry" I am moving toward to Live.

~~the Words of the song going through my head now, "Jesus walked the lonesome valley, he had to walk it by himself, for nobody else could walk it for him"……..I must walk this by myself…….

Pilgrimage to Water/Ocean….
Living waters of the Spirit……..John 4
Water of Baptism…..John 3

Isaiah~~~water restoring dry parched land with renewal

Moses~~~leading his people through the Sea as well as to Drinking water

By the river of Babylon, where we lay down, and where we wept when we remembered Zion….

In the Beginning was Chaos and Water

Only if you are born again of Water and the Spirit can you truly see God's Realm.

You are a New Creation

…be renewed in your mind……

It is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me….

Resurrection
New Beginnings
Transformation

Live/journey as parable/metaphor/Sacrament of Incarnation

The Word made Flesh.

IT IS the CHRIST WHO'S VOICE THAT I AM LISTENING TO.



I also talked with Christian, who is the marketing person for Strathcona. I had mentioned it would be a great idea to sell a cookbook because the food is incredibly healthy, organic and tasty. The Pizza crust and pan bread yesterday were great!!

We talked about Strathcona differing from other organizations because of its philosophy and focus on a healthy and connected lifestyle. Strathcona has awesome facilities as well as being a location for Outdoor Education in Canada for Leaders. Even the food and tuck shop demonstrate respect for oneself, the environment and community as well has the generating of money.

While we were talking Christian's young daughter, a little Bush Baby Angel Emma, was "exploring" the open doors. She was, in my perception one of those "Spirit Children" who's Light was translucent in her face.





Christian, upon hearing I was a former mainline Church minister, asked if I had read James Hillman's book "The Soul's Code". Apparently, he suggests that each person has an innate soul seed that determines how one will grow in one's being & doing. One's way of being in the world is determined by seed rather than either nature or nurture. In Hillman's book the parental role is being "Keeper of the Seed" because each soul picks its own parents. It certainly sounds like a good read.



I also had a chance to talk to Christian's son. It was he that told me the story of the Carved Bear that stands on the deck. How when the lodge had burned down at one point, it alone was remaining amidst the rubble. It sure feels like BEAR is the totem Spirit for Strathcona.

At 5:30, Gaye gave me a ride into Gold River. I followed through on my "niggly", asking her to drop me off at the manse/rectory/Church house for the Ecumenical church in town. When I knocked on the door initially I was relieved that no one answered. I walked into the car port to put on my rain pants to Keep on moving to find a place to stay when a red headed woman came out to check. I indeed asked for the ministry of Hospitality…...indicating that I would be willing to do some work around her place for a bed to sleep in. Her response? "Well, I have been just now praying for a handmaiden…… "