The Pilgrimage Road

May 30, 2004

First day dry enough that I can write
and lean on the picnic table. Everything is damp---and I haven't washed my hair since Tuesday night. Hope to walk into town tomorrow and do laundry and Shower. Its around 12:20 pm---I just asked. I've walked to the fish hatchery and beyond a bit along the Quinsam river. It is lush. I was struck with the Image of community by one grove of trees...it was like a stunning healing circle of Root energy. I want to see furry wild life---other than domestic dogs!! I did manage to see two garter snakes, a beautiful large black and white butterfly, a small woodpecker& a Pilated woodpecker. As I take note of this now, I can "hear" the woodpeckers inviting me into the rhythm of Gaia's Heartbeat….finding my own Heart beat as an extension of hers.

I have never seen so many Robins in my life. I am embarrassed to say they look out of place in the rain forest. Goes to show how urbanized I am when I perceive a lawn as a "home place" for the bird. And again in retrospect, Robin is a Heart Song Bird…..complete with the Red Breast that seems to declare our Gaia's Heart as the Root Source to All the Songlines.

I can actually see some blue sky. I'm hoping it will bring some warmth. I am surprised my body is so restless when I get up. I need to wander myself into silence. So much static and white noise to walk out/thru…..

I am impressed by the amount of recycling & "community living" moisture brings to the bush/forest. Yesterday I saw a tree with moss growing up the sides & ferns starting to grow. I thought to myself "THAT is an example of the First Apartment building." ~_~

I often have a vision of Community living with separate condo/apartments connecting to a common room with community kitchen and living space Balance of Solitude and Community. I guess some of the first nations had set ups like that…as well as the Cloistered communities of Buddhism and Christianity…...

The birdsong here is remarkable. The crows have an amazing repertoire from caw to a kind of cat coo. This morning there was a crazy bird--red breast like a robin but a darker backside with pale spots. Jumping around quite energetically amidst various bushes.

The snake & butterfly sighting bring up a discussion that I had at the labyrinth at the Beginning of my Journey.......... about the difference between transmutation and Transformation.

Transmutation is a something taking a different Something and making a New Something. Like an Alchemist turning lead into gold...Jesus Turning Water into Wine........

Transformation is when One being in itself changes into something different….Caterpillar into Butterfly……Pollywog into frog…..Grief into Joy.....


May 31, 2004

21 years ago I was ordained in Sherbrooke, Quebec in St. Michael's Cathedral. Here I am in a natural Cathedral still seeking "ordination"-----ordained to What??
(reflecting on personal relationship griefs briefly)

I am quieter today. I am able to sit for longer periods to observe. After reading about labyrinth and journey I was noticing how the path I took today was like the labyrinth. A couple of spots I need to be Still & Know God I God like often happens when I walk. I walked to the road and back along the beaver pond trail. So wonderful to have some "dry" time and see some blue sky temporarily. The sun is so wonderfully warm when the clouds let it out.

Silence is starting to grow in me. I was blessed with hummingbird today….and a mother duck and two ducklings. It was amazing to see the number of birds flying over the beaver pond---the familiar red-wing blackbird and sparrows~~~thought I saw the yellow of a canary or gold finch. New Bird Songs. New Song Lines.

June 1st

Today I went into a beautiful gift store. The masks on display really touched me in terms of their story. The Sisiutl mask moved me touched again on the death theme that seems to be part of my life journey. The Sisiutl is a supernatural undersea serpent that holds Warrior Power and Indestructibility. It can cause death or bring the dead back to life. When a woman dances this Spirit at a potlatch as a Tuxwid dancer, the power of a woman comes alive and strong. Interestingly, it is also a being evoked when calling to war.


Reminds me of a song that Heather Bishop sings, The Warrior song by Kim Baryluk:

I was a shy and lonely girl with the heavens in my eyes
And as a walked along the way
I heard the echoes of her cries I can not fight,
I can not a warrior be.
It's not my nature nor my teaching.
It is the womanhood in me.

I was a lost and angry youth, there were no tears in my eyes
I saw no justice in my world,
only the echoes of her cries
I can not fight, I can not a warrior be.
It's not my nature or my teachings.
It is the womanhood in me.

I am an older woman now, and I will heed my own cries
And I will a fierce warrior be 'till not another woman dies
I can and will fight. I can and will a warrior be.
It is my nature and my duty.
It is the womanhood in me.
I can and will fight. I can and will a warrior be.
It is my nature and my duty.
It is the sisterhood in me.

As though the Mask, the Dance, and The Spirit stir up the Strength of the Sacred Feminine within. I sense that my moving through death of who I am being, is calling upon this archetype source of power to help my woman hood grow fully into power~~into a humble~~~in the strongest sense of the word~~A Sense of Grounded Being. Not Self as source~~~but being in tune with a Sacred Source….letting the Feminine and Masculine flow through me in balance and strength.

The Mask with the skulls dangling from them is called
Bakbakwalanookswae mask~~it is the obsessive devourer of humans. My friend K loves bones and especially skulls so I thought of her when I took these pictures. This is a mask from the Hamatsa society~~when one hears whistling in the trees one is hearing Bakbakwalanookswae.

Tsonokwa Mask is thought provoking~~it seems to have a bit of Hansel and Gretel theme to it~~interesting story to be in European AND North American 1st nations Mythology. Tsonokwa is the Wild Woman who fills her basket with children. One day two children managed to cut a hole in the basket and made their escape. They came across Glubastalis~~the Knowledgeable Woman of the Woods. She had been in the bush so long her feet had grown roots and she had become a huge hemlock tree. She managed to rescue the children. I like this figure, Glubastalis~~ I will call her the Wisdom Woman of the Bush~~~I would like to think I am "attuning" to that energy so I can receive the Knowledge and Wisdom of the Bush to translate into language that I understand and can communicate.

Yesterday I saw a humming bird, and for me the gift of humming bird is to Communicate the Reality of Joy being born out of Sorrow. A woman with hummingbird energy can manifest whatever she wants through the Tuxwid dance~~~that dance again. That dance is one I would love to experience it has so much transformative power moving through it in its most "in tune" spirit.

I've written about masks ~_~, celebrated my 1 st in a week shower and dry sleeping bag...... I've spoken with beloved Friend…..as the rain pours down and I can see the ocean & Quadra Island sitting in a restaurant for coffee.....I am reflecting on the American couple who have been traveling the last 4 summers in a 35 foot boat. They moor in San Diego for the winter then head North. We spoke about the process of living with so much less. They moved from a big house to a 35 foot boat. We commented how only those who do something similar "get it". And here I am~~Turtle Woman with Butterfly Wings, carrying my present life on my back. It will be interesting to see what gets mailed back in Gold River!!

The woman also talked about the transition she made from a high powered job to a literal "go with the flow lifestyle"~~~~It was initially difficult. It will be interesting to note when I begin to get squirrely with my own company.

And then there was the voice of the man whose son is 74 and who is getting married for the 3 rd time!!! Spent time in the artillery during the war. As for getting married at his age….."Why not?? I get kinda lonesome."

Tomorrow I set off toward the West Coast of Vancouver Island. It has been good to be here a week. To begin to get into a rhythm and gradual silence. I have needed to sleep lots~~~the last couple of weeks of prep were very emotional and I am needing to be rested in order to listen to the deeper voices. And so my friends, Peace be with each of you. It might be a while before you hear from me. Take care of yourselves.