The Stuff that Dreams ~and Pilgrimages~ are Made of

It was Easter Monday, when on the phone in tears with a friend, I decided to say Yes to her offer of picking me up. At 51, trying to cope with the debilitating symptoms of Chronic Fatigue I ran away from home. My dear friend, single mother to four children from ages 13 -24 years all living with her, brought me to her home. Still, her Generosity, Compassion and Risk leave me in awe. I still remember our "sleep over giggles" at the glow in the dark Mary and Jesus on an altar you could see from the bed, with TinkerBell bestowing her blessings above them.

For the next 6 weeks, I went from place to place…..friends, friends of friends, a resident home for single women, and finally the local Hostel. I had to make a decision. I began to walk around an inner city neighbourhood, that I wanted to live in and sure enough found the perfect basement apartment for an incredibly reasonable rent. It was in an old house a good sized back yard (for inner city), a wonderful small town feel neighbourhood and some young women sharing the other two suites in the house.

I moved in with two bags to my name. I bought an air mattress and friends began offering me emergency help like towels, sheets, dishes….quite generous. I needed a lot of Quiet…..my furniture was painted and covered with white, as were the walls. It was without question Low Income Housing, Yet for me it was Sanctuary…..PEACE…..GRACE…..SPACE…..The white of my apartment reduced what a friend calls "White Noise" of Colours. A place to restore my soul.

The reading during this time was DaVinci Code….which led me to re-visit the Mary Magdalene ~ Jesus theme that had come up during my first Year after Ordination with Holy Blood, Holy Grail. I realized I needed to look at the Archetype of Sacred Bride and Bridegroom that I first "encountered" through the Prophet Hosea, as well as the Wedding stories that involved Jesus. I began to discover the "flexibility" of Mythology…I didn't need to Historically/Factually embrace the Mary Magdalene/Sarah mythology, but I needed to Embrace the Realities of Sexuality being part of a Sacred~High Frequency spirituality. I was reacquainted myself with the stories of Troubadours, the rise of the Romanticism of "celibate" Adoration, The Reclaiming of Ancient Symbols of the Sacred Feminine in "Christ~Centred" Theology and the Delight of "Seeing" a Baby Girl, as the Divine Child, and OffSpring of Divinely Human Parents in the "Christ" story.

The other reading I did was in conjunction with my trying something called Visual Therapy. The book I was recommended to read was: "Take off Your Glasses And See" by Jacob Liberman. Within 6 months following some of the Guidelines and using all my energy learned power of Intention my eyesight at 52, my glasses prescription could be cut in half. I still don't need Bi focals. My eyesight had gradually gotten worse since I was 11 years old. The meditative part of the therapy is invaluable. The "perception" questions ...the What do you not want to See questions healing. As I reflect back now, this beginning to Change again how I See was a Key in My evolving Perception of the World and Myself.

That Christmas, while staying with friends, I received an awareness of a Call to pilgrimage to Canadian Sacred places. I needed to "attune myself" to find and take pictures of Portals to the Holy as I discovered them in People, Locations, Animals, Plants….you get the drift. And I had a sense I needed to use all that to write a book of the experience.

2004 began with preparing for the Journey. I began to organize the camping equipment I would need. Being 52 and sensitive to Cold, I wanted to make certain I had basics of Comfort on the journey. This was a Pilgrimage of Perception not Sacrifice. I needed a more precise focus of Call….all is fine to take pictures of Portals to the Holy but for what Purpose? I awakened early one morning in December with the Prayer of St. Francis going through my head, and with it also came the Intention for the Journey.

The prayer reads as follows:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon:

where there is doubt, faith ;

where there is despair, hope

where there is darkness, light

where there is sadness, joy

O divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Having meditated with this for a while the following Mission Intention flowed out of me:


Pilgrimage~Mission Intention

"In that I have participated in violent relationships, and live in a world that has used violence and violating control in the Name of God, this journey I make is a Transformative journey. Every step I take I take to transform myself and the world's history of violence. Violence comes in different forms: emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual, energetic, verbal. Violence exists in our lack of integrity, our unkindness, our taking life for granted and our "not putting to right" that which we have violated. Violence exists where Grace is Scarce and the need for control is great. I want to walk and breathe a prayer for forgiveness and transformation for us all. With every step I take, I pray that the Spirit of Shalom--the peace that is created by true righteousness, kindness, justice, compassion, trust, joy, and love for God, self and neighbor--Will infuse our universe. I pray that the planet, all living creatures and the whole communion of saints may offer up their prayers with me as I walk with the intention of increasing the universal vibration to one of Holy Shalom -- Wholly Peace. I pray that loving peace will replace fear.

I am called to walk for peace--to be a Peace Walker. I am being called to take this journey trusting in my own Sacred Self, Calling forth the Spirit of Shalom from the hearts of people, the animals and environment by trusting the Spirit to lead me to my daily bread and shelter. Like Jesus, Hildegard, St. Theresa of Lisieux and St. Francis I am being called to journey in faith, sharing the vision and intention with whoever crosses my path. I look forward to welcoming the companionship of anyone who wishes to join me for part of the Journey."

Initially I considered traveling through the Peace Valley on to the West Coast. …and yet I knew I needed to just let the Spirit lead me day by day. A couple of my friends were dealing with a high level of anxiety around my safety in "walking" along the side of the road on my proposed route. In my own awareness of "retreat" or "pilgrimages" the participant gathers prayers to take with him/or her on the journey, so I began to prepare a letter of my intention to those on My Christmas card list stating my departure date would be Easter Monday….liturgically correct and all….. ~_~……

At the End of February I was in the midst of getting my letter copied when my phone died….okay it fell in the tub, but consequently it Drowned…..~_+……….I got a replacement for that before the day was out through email connections, and then my internet connection went dead. I could "feel" that the Spirit was trying to get a message through to me, but my receivers were not working so I called an intuitive healer friend to "see" if she could "hear" what I was missing. "You aren't going to like this," she started by saying, "but I think you need to wait a year before beginning this journey." I was open to delay a bit but not a frigging year after all the fear was working through to get this far in planning…. The day I sent out my pilgrimage letter, naming Easter Monday as my day of departure, I went for a crystal bowl healing session and that healer concluded our session saying: " I think you need to postpone this pilgrimage some…..too much clearing going on the planet right now"….It was a cold Canadian night, I was dealing with a real chest cold, indignantly expressing to Great Spirit something like "I've just sent out 80 letters….how am I going to have any credibility that this is Real and not me just being crazy if I change this???"

The next morning I was awakened with a loud knocking on my door….It was the mail man….with every letter I had posted the day before….my credibility on changing the date was no longer at issue. And as though to "really" make sure I got it, I had two other encounters with people who expressed deep concern over my pilgrimage. One from someone I met once as a "romantic possibility" ….we had talked frequently on the phone for a couple of weeks and then broke off communication SIX YEARS BEFORE….apparently he had begun thinking of me a lot with a sense of foreboding on my account. He basically phoned mutual friends to get my number to tell me he was getting bad vibes don't go……..!!!!!!!!!!!! The other one was former parishoners...Mother ~ Daughter. The Mother's (my age) response was "Dell, says if you were in his family he wouldn't let you go. You just need to love yourself, and you don't have to go on a pilgrimage to do that". And the 18 year old Wise Daughter, when I asked what she thought, said, "Well, on the List of Stupid, its up there"!!!! ~_~ I got that world view alot. ~_+

I decided to postpone the trip until May 26th….that would delay me for over a month. The other thing that came clear was I needed to change my Route. I decided to fly straight to Campbell River on Vancouver Island and begin my pilgrimage there. It was really amazing how much more at peace my friends were when this decision was made. A good sign…I pay attention to friends vibes even if I don't let them determine what the out come is…..It felt like confirmation that I was on track.

There were a couple of really important "planning factors" that I am continually grateful for. One was the inspiration to see myself surrounded in a Sacred Medicine Wheel/Circle/Hoop with 8 Spiritual Companions …..

North: Jesus
Northeast: Mary Magdalene
East: AA Raphael
South East: Hildegard de Bingen
South: St. Francis
South West: St. Bridgit
West: St. Teresa of Lisieux
North West: Quan Yin
Centre: The Shekinah

I gathered little symbols for each and put them in a little medicine bag to take with me.

In one of the Energy treatments I received, the theme, "Realm Walker" came up and in the treatment it was like a New Spiritual Body was beginning to grow in my Energetic Field as well as a huge sense of the Presence of Melchizedek…one that both I and the healing touch practitioner picked up on. [Melchizedek is a Character in Hebrew scriptures that encounters Abraham with Bread and Wine, and in the book of Hebrews, Christ is declared as a "priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek".] That night as I pondered what "Realm Walker" might mean for me I happened to be watching a TV documentary on Aboriginal Spirituality and the term came up in reference to those who are Present with those who have "passed on"….if someone was an addict in this life, they would benefit from someone on this side of the veil being Present with them as they adjusted into their new Spiritual Form and "location"….Another form of "working within" "Portals to the Holy".

Some of my Peace Pilgrimage homework was talking with some people whose spiritual Journey I thought might be interested. They enriched my foundation for Pilgrimage profoundly. For instance from one I learned how much the War in Iraq had to do with fuel economics. AND that the Images of Violence in Media had increased up 400% in a short length of time. I became aware of how often an Image of Violence, calls us to Peace rather than an Image Peace inviting us to Peace.

I found I needed to develop a logo for myself and my journey…..two other friends, who dedicated much time and energy in supporting me in the preparatory activities, helped immensely in that. Earth Mother Friend and I were discussing two images I had going on in my head....One a Blue heart with energy, and the other the Planet in God Hands. I wondered which I should give her to reflect on. It was her 8 yearold Wise Son that said, without taking his eyes off his own cut and paste project....."Use both". That's exactly how it started....my Icon emerged was a Heart Shaped EARTH surrounded my Green energy….. I had read about Hildegard de Bingen's Greening power, Verdatis, but it took Artist to reveal to me that this was also an Energy that Emily Carr, the Canadian impressionist painter wrote about and painted in her work depicting the West Coast and lst Nations locations. As it turned out I carried a card with my BodySpirit Balance logo on one side and Artists 4 Peace on the other. The actual development of my logo is a chapter in and of itself!!


The finally preparatory "test" came the end of April,
when a friend asked me to go to Hungary with him
on a Peace Conference. I took my concern
on a mini vision quest visiting a Healer friend who
lives in Buffalo country…….complete with
a view of Chief Mountain in Montana. My mini vision quest was answered……

By the time I left it was clear to me that MY journey was as I had already imagined…in Canada beginning on Vancouver Island.