LETTER TO THE CHURCHES
originally:
REASONS FOR SABBATICAL
May 1998
In 1991 I was in the midst of an intense "intentional interim Ministry" in Ontario and I was asked to do the funeral for a neighbours' seventeen~year~old son. While I knew my neighbours by name, I did not KNOW them. My work, commuting and family took all the energy my introverted self could muster. It felt like hypocrisy that I would spend all my energy in ministry on a two church pastoral charge 40 minutes drive from my farm home, and yet knot have the energy left over to know my neighbours except in times of crisis. It was then that it seemed to hit me, that most of Jesus' ministry was outside the synagogue, with those on the fringe, rather than those already in the religious structure.
I read God hates Religion by Christopher Levan. I found myself being inwardly challenged at Ministry within the Church. Some of the quotes that really resonated with me were:
"Linked with the institutional process of religion
are the vested interests of priests and other Church
officials. Salaries and living allowances are all
dependent on gathering people and their financial
resources into one place ….all too often they (financial
issues) are the only reason some church institutions
remain unchanged through the years. If money talks
in our culture, it's most consistent speech to religion
begins with a variation on the theme "play it safe"."
Chris reminded his readers, that initially Jesus sent the 72 out two by two, and that they were to expect no money. Food, shelter, etc. was a gift from the preacher's host indicating that the person had understood that God's reign needed to be lived through the gift of hospitality. The missionaries were called to eat and sleep by trust, thus the prayer, "Give us this day our daily bread" was one a person prayed carefully.
Disciples were to live an egalitarian lifestyle "entering into towns a unknowns, without status, sharing what they had to offer. The very act of homelessness meant putting themselves at risk, leaving the protection of clan ties and community structures and living beyond the comfortable confines of Law and Order." This lack of having an established "church" home meant that both the disciples and the new converts were Materially and Spiritually, the "church" on the "Way." Levan points out how this way of being in faith emphasized "theological incompleteness by living without the assurance of iron clad answers". Secondly missionaries had no time to set themselves up as a focal point of religious activities. This style of Spiritual communication quite clearly gives individuals the freedom and responsibility for their own faith." (p.55)
Chris went on to say "the original idea of Jesus of Nazareth was not to establish a New "Jesus Cult" so much as to disestablish the unhelpful approach to faith institutionalized in the religion of his day ….it may be that the time has come to rejuvenate the Spiritual pilgrimage, the physical journey that embodies the movement of the Soul. Is this not a faithful response to the gospel's story of going out on the road? In an itinerant church, the resources are not wasted on buildings, but reserved for those we meet on the journey--the lost and the wounded."
I found myself being challenged as to how I was practicing ministry in the ....institution. I felt uneasy because I did not feel I was living in a way that was true to the Spirit of Jesus' teaching by receiving a salary from the church.
The following year, I had the opportunity to take two continuing education courses with Tom Harper. In both courses and in his book For Christ's Sake, Tom tells the story of the spring that flows in the desert wilderness where travelers discover that this water not only "satisfies their thirst, but satisfied deeper needs as well. Somehow in drinking at the source they found their minds and bodies healed, their hopes and courage growing strong again. Life became rich with fresh meaning. They found they could pick up their various burdens and take to the way once more with new hearts. They called the spot "the Place of Living Waters" and the spring itself, "the Water of Life".
Generation after generation people tried to protect the spring by placing boulders of gratitude, bricking over the well and then "establishing a Special Caste of Men, With Special robes and a language all their own Who came into being to set rules for preserving the purity of the well. Access was no longer free to all, and disagreements as to who could drink there, and when and how, sometimes grew so bitter that wars were fought over them".
Now those who were in search of this water of life could not find it. Only certain people were allowed access. "From time to time strange men came in from the wilderness saying that those who guarded the ancient well should "repent" and tear away all the obstructions so that the masses might drink and be restored. Later they would be called prophets and honoured greatly in the Shrine. But at the moment of their protest they were rejected. Indeed many were put to death.
"And so in the end the vast majority of people who journeyed along the route avoided the now-sacred "place of living waters" and survived whatever way they could. Many, when they passed the shrine and recalled the stories they had learned in youth about the hidden spring were seized with nostalgia and longings too deep to utter. Others struggled on embittered by cynical doubt that the healing waters had ever existed. But sometimes in the night, when all the chanting and ceremonies were stilled, those few pilgrims who stole into the shrine to rest for a moment in some corner out of sight were sure they could hear an almost miraculous sound. From somewhere deep under the foundations of the great rock structure there came the faint echo of running water. and their eyes would brim with tears". (Prologue of For Christ's Sake, Tom Harper)
This reading has evoked in me a deep need to search out what it means to be someone called into "ordered ministry".
I am asking myself questions such as how much am I a part of status quo?
Am I truly free to Make or Live prophetic statements as I feel called?
How much does depending on Church politics and Church structures to give me economic security influence my call to live out my prophetic responsibility?
Is "the church" truly the only valid faith community available to sustain faith or has it become a place of obligation where I as a church member add unneeded burdens on the shoulders of others as I plead for "faithful loyalty and service"?
Has my own use of theological and faith jargon made my declaration of the Good News of Jesus Christ something only an exclusive group can understand?
How does the mainline church reach those in our community who have not had a church connection or who find the church an unsafe place to be?
How do I offer a ministry of reconciliation and new life to the unchurched?
I have an ongoing interest in the Ministry of Healing. This has led me to reading Caroline Myss' work. In her tape, Three Levels of Power (Sounds true publishing), she speaks of Tribal Power, Individual Power and Symbolic power and our need to master each. Tribal power is described as that group mind or group thought form that defines reality for us. She suggests that a person works and grows at the speed of the group and indeed healing moves in accordance with group norms and "rules". The tribe determines the proper channels for healing. In the area of Tribal power, the tribe decides what experiences are legitimate and which are not. At this time I feel called to distance myself from church Structures in order to clarify my own awareness of what is the truth that I truly KNOW and am TRANSFORMED by in Christ, and what tribal realities contribute to my unhealth. I need to discern what of my institutionalization is Christ -Centred and what has become oppressive and spiritually crippling for me.
These questions deserve to be addressed in the form of a Sabbatical because I am questioning not only my own Behalf but also as one who was ordained to the ministry of Word, Sacrament and Pastoral Care. The Word has to do with Truth. I need to discern the TRUTH THAT I EMBODY by moving more into the level of personal power. I desire to communicate it in a non-jargon form if it is possible. To address the conflict of interest issue I have been experiencing in being prophetic with an institution that pays my salary, I feel it is necessary to find work that can support me financially. St Paul maintained his tent making vocation while doing his ministry and for years now I have felt the need to have an occupation that I can have while not in paid accountable ministry. In this age when ministers out number pastoral charges I consider myself practicing good stewardship. I am searching for ways to do ministry outside of an institutionalized structure to personally experiment with an alternative way of doing a prophetic and pastorally caring ministry.
….I do not want to permanently server myself from the ......."institution". I do need time to address the issues that have been evoked in me through Levan and Harper. As the church itself re-examines how it delivers the Good news I feel my questions and my journey embody the same spirit of exploration and discernment of how to be the church in the New millennium. Your prayers are always welcome as I face this challenging time of examining different way of expressing the ministry of Word, Sacrament and Pastoral Care.
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